Tuesday, January 05, 2010
Good Advice
As always, the new year has me thinking about lessons learned. I've been thinking in terms of advice people have given me over the years. Some of it wasn't always good. And for that which was good, some of it didn't always sink in right away. Some of it's harder to put into practice than to understand on the surface. I just wanted to post a couple, and maybe I will add more later. If you can think of anything, please don't be afraid to add yours as well!
1. "You don't have to love unconditionally."
-my first roommate in college
2. "If you are always waiting for someone to get where you are, then by the time they get there, you will be somewhere else."
-Gonzo
3. "Sometimes when life gives you a mixed bag of emotions you just need to pick out the good ones."
-Tom Albrecht
4. "Why you gotta act like you know when you don't know? It's OKAYYYYY that you don't know everything."
-Ben Folds
5. "Sometimes love just happens."
-Kelly McKee
6. "There's no such thing as good timing."
-something Gonzo and I have learned
7. "You underestimate your value on the dating market."
-someone told me that once, and I think too many people do that, so I'm putting it out there.
8. "True love is work, but it's worth the work."
-my Grandmother and my older sister, Beckie
9. "Tomorrow begins today."
-something I learned from reading Les Miserables
10. "Blood is not thicker than water."
-just something else I'm slowly beginning to grasp. Also related, "You can't chose your family, but you can chose your friends."
11. "Never say never."
-lots of people say that, but that's what my Grandmother said to me when I said I was never going to get married.
12. Also, miracles do happen. My mother is cancer free after a two year struggle - first with stage four colon cancer, then liver cancer, then a lump in her abdomen. And also, I graduated college after 10 years, which is a miracle in itself! Technology is a miracle. I can talk to my sister on camera in Russia using a Mac! They found evidence of water on the moon! Did I mention I'm getting married? OK, nuff said.
13. "You do not have to be a social construction."
-me
14. There's something I've been wanting to thank my friend Dallas Jones for awhile. One time when I was down and out about my mother being sick, and a crappy relationship I was in, and my overall place in the world, he said to me, "Cara, you are doing OK. You have a job. You have a nice place. I don't know why you feel the way you do. Look, you are doing fine. You just need to chill." And I was. Two things I learned from that are 1) If you look around, things are probably better than you think, and 2) Sometimes people just need to hear that. I needed to hear that I was OK, so thank you for that.
15. paraphrasing here, but Keith Ferrazzi says that with three lifelines, you can accomplish anything in life. Lifelines are the people who care about you, who support your goals, who hold you accountable for your actions. They are people you make time for, to catch up with, to check up on. They check up on you, too, see how you're doing. I think everybody needs that. And although the Internet and sites like this should make it easier to cultivate these relationships, for some reason, it almost makes it harder. So, I just think everybody should think about this. Who are your three? Who's lifeline would you want to be?
As always, the new year has me thinking about lessons learned. I've been thinking in terms of advice people have given me over the years. Some of it wasn't always good. And for that which was good, some of it didn't always sink in right away. Some of it's harder to put into practice than to understand on the surface. I just wanted to post a couple, and maybe I will add more later. If you can think of anything, please don't be afraid to add yours as well!
1. "You don't have to love unconditionally."
-my first roommate in college
2. "If you are always waiting for someone to get where you are, then by the time they get there, you will be somewhere else."
-Gonzo
3. "Sometimes when life gives you a mixed bag of emotions you just need to pick out the good ones."
-Tom Albrecht
4. "Why you gotta act like you know when you don't know? It's OKAYYYYY that you don't know everything."
-Ben Folds
5. "Sometimes love just happens."
-Kelly McKee
6. "There's no such thing as good timing."
-something Gonzo and I have learned
7. "You underestimate your value on the dating market."
-someone told me that once, and I think too many people do that, so I'm putting it out there.
8. "True love is work, but it's worth the work."
-my Grandmother and my older sister, Beckie
9. "Tomorrow begins today."
-something I learned from reading Les Miserables
10. "Blood is not thicker than water."
-just something else I'm slowly beginning to grasp. Also related, "You can't chose your family, but you can chose your friends."
11. "Never say never."
-lots of people say that, but that's what my Grandmother said to me when I said I was never going to get married.
12. Also, miracles do happen. My mother is cancer free after a two year struggle - first with stage four colon cancer, then liver cancer, then a lump in her abdomen. And also, I graduated college after 10 years, which is a miracle in itself! Technology is a miracle. I can talk to my sister on camera in Russia using a Mac! They found evidence of water on the moon! Did I mention I'm getting married? OK, nuff said.
13. "You do not have to be a social construction."
-me
14. There's something I've been wanting to thank my friend Dallas Jones for awhile. One time when I was down and out about my mother being sick, and a crappy relationship I was in, and my overall place in the world, he said to me, "Cara, you are doing OK. You have a job. You have a nice place. I don't know why you feel the way you do. Look, you are doing fine. You just need to chill." And I was. Two things I learned from that are 1) If you look around, things are probably better than you think, and 2) Sometimes people just need to hear that. I needed to hear that I was OK, so thank you for that.
15. paraphrasing here, but Keith Ferrazzi says that with three lifelines, you can accomplish anything in life. Lifelines are the people who care about you, who support your goals, who hold you accountable for your actions. They are people you make time for, to catch up with, to check up on. They check up on you, too, see how you're doing. I think everybody needs that. And although the Internet and sites like this should make it easier to cultivate these relationships, for some reason, it almost makes it harder. So, I just think everybody should think about this. Who are your three? Who's lifeline would you want to be?
Labels: Advice, Ben Folds, New Year's
0 Comments:
