Monday, December 15, 2008
The Ones I'd Like to Grow Into ...
Once upon a time, I wanted to be Nora Ephron when I grew up. I wanted to have screenwriters/producers for parents. Go to Wellesley. Be the youngest columnist for Esquire in the 1970s.
Then I wanted to be Ellen Willis. The socially conscious, against the grain, rock-the-fuck out writer and woman's leader founded the most awesome writing program I've ever read about. I would give my left arm to go there.
Then I thought, if I could somehow combine what I have learned from both women and become that, and be inspired and driven enough to do something really special like they've done, I would be exactly what and where I want to be.
They are two amazing American women, who wrote in the same time period about different things, who happened to fall on opposite sides of the spectrum when it came to their strong beliefs. Both had integrity beyond definition.
Although a slight overlap connects the two surrounding women's issues, Ephron is more composed, more proper, more elitist. She exudes a certain confidence in her writing from those times, and has an amazing presence even today, in interviews I've seen since making films like When Harry Met Sally.
Willis, also Jewish, came from an upper-middle class family, and received an ivy league education, but I doubt she enjoyed maids and nice cars and schools growing up as Ephron did. I'm sure I relate to Willis on the class level: she has this angry edge marked with an admirable sensibility which Ephron lacks. Willis got to be a leading female rock writer, examining the greatest Beatles, Stones, and Dylan albums as they hit the airwaves, even beforehand, as a member of the press. She was also an activist, observing the riots at the Democratic Convention in Chicago, 1968.
Willis is fiercely intelligent, and articulate in spite of her neurosis. She embodies a tight blend of masculine and feminine qualities. Her words can caress or bite you, whatever she requires, yet she is more fragile than Ephron, which I understand and adore. She is the rock star of the two, regardless of her closet geekdom, while Ephron, although time and time again has written about not being beautiful, is a princess -- if not, a frightful queen. She is royalty and will always be.
I decided a few months ago I need not be either. Their influence shapes me in undefinable ways, not to mention the woman slowly swimming in me: the one I will develop into over the next 10 years, whom I envision somewhere right on the center line between these powerful, smart, insightful women.
Only last night, I decided I wanted to be Cameron Crowe. Gah!
I finally saw Almost Famous. I know, right? Please don't ask me how I had not gotten around to that yet, because I will blame you for telling me I needed to watch it but then not wanting to rent it with me. Ha! True story.
Not only do I want to be Crowe from the film; I want to be the Crowe who made all those films and wrote those amazing articles. I looked him up, and didn't realize I own more than half the movies he directed. Several are at the top of my list.
I noticed certain things stylistically I really enjoyed about Famous, but still can't necessarily pinpoint what it is about his technique that makes him an auteur. I suppose it's some thematic element although I suspect it is more. I know the auteur lies in the soul beneath the aesthetic film, beneath the narrative. It's a filmic element, although something that could be described in words, because it is as intentional as much as it is an effect.
Whatever it is, neither subtle nor obvious, it is brilliant. I'm completely floored.
Once upon a time, I wanted to be Nora Ephron when I grew up. I wanted to have screenwriters/producers for parents. Go to Wellesley. Be the youngest columnist for Esquire in the 1970s.
Then I wanted to be Ellen Willis. The socially conscious, against the grain, rock-the-fuck out writer and woman's leader founded the most awesome writing program I've ever read about. I would give my left arm to go there.
Then I thought, if I could somehow combine what I have learned from both women and become that, and be inspired and driven enough to do something really special like they've done, I would be exactly what and where I want to be.
They are two amazing American women, who wrote in the same time period about different things, who happened to fall on opposite sides of the spectrum when it came to their strong beliefs. Both had integrity beyond definition.
Although a slight overlap connects the two surrounding women's issues, Ephron is more composed, more proper, more elitist. She exudes a certain confidence in her writing from those times, and has an amazing presence even today, in interviews I've seen since making films like When Harry Met Sally.
Willis, also Jewish, came from an upper-middle class family, and received an ivy league education, but I doubt she enjoyed maids and nice cars and schools growing up as Ephron did. I'm sure I relate to Willis on the class level: she has this angry edge marked with an admirable sensibility which Ephron lacks. Willis got to be a leading female rock writer, examining the greatest Beatles, Stones, and Dylan albums as they hit the airwaves, even beforehand, as a member of the press. She was also an activist, observing the riots at the Democratic Convention in Chicago, 1968.
Willis is fiercely intelligent, and articulate in spite of her neurosis. She embodies a tight blend of masculine and feminine qualities. Her words can caress or bite you, whatever she requires, yet she is more fragile than Ephron, which I understand and adore. She is the rock star of the two, regardless of her closet geekdom, while Ephron, although time and time again has written about not being beautiful, is a princess -- if not, a frightful queen. She is royalty and will always be.
I decided a few months ago I need not be either. Their influence shapes me in undefinable ways, not to mention the woman slowly swimming in me: the one I will develop into over the next 10 years, whom I envision somewhere right on the center line between these powerful, smart, insightful women.
Only last night, I decided I wanted to be Cameron Crowe. Gah!
I finally saw Almost Famous. I know, right? Please don't ask me how I had not gotten around to that yet, because I will blame you for telling me I needed to watch it but then not wanting to rent it with me. Ha! True story.
Not only do I want to be Crowe from the film; I want to be the Crowe who made all those films and wrote those amazing articles. I looked him up, and didn't realize I own more than half the movies he directed. Several are at the top of my list.
I noticed certain things stylistically I really enjoyed about Famous, but still can't necessarily pinpoint what it is about his technique that makes him an auteur. I suppose it's some thematic element although I suspect it is more. I know the auteur lies in the soul beneath the aesthetic film, beneath the narrative. It's a filmic element, although something that could be described in words, because it is as intentional as much as it is an effect.
Whatever it is, neither subtle nor obvious, it is brilliant. I'm completely floored.
Labels: Cameron Crowe, Cancer, Dreams, Ellen Willis, Heroes, Movies, Nora Ephron
3 Comments:
I changed my mind. Crowe is not an auteur. He's a writer, but a really good one. And I do love his movies.
... I will be reading Nora Ephron and Barbara Walters today. :)
It's good to have role models and people to aspire to be, but I think what it comes down to is being yourself and finding your own voice. Your writing has always been very insightful and I always enjoy reading. BTW thanks for the invite.
yayyyyy Stefan! Thank you for reading, and glad to hear from you!
