Monday, September 25, 2006
Eight MILLION ways to fuck your film sideways
1. When loading the reels, Fuck up a lot. You can do this by not being able to tell which way the grooves move in a circle. It's pitch black, so it's not hard. Especially if you can't feel anything with your fingertips through your guitar callouses.
2. Load your film on the reel the wrong way. Have to unroll and start over 2,000 times.
3. Cut the fuck out of your thumb either with scissors while breaking open the film in the dark, or oddly somehow cut it with the actual negative like a paper cut times one million.
4. Feel your bloody thumb hurt as you still struggle with your negatives, in the dark.
5. Practically give up. Start over again. Then manhandle your negatives. "That's right, bitch!"
6. Go to process. When you dump the developer out, expose your film to the light because your fuckwit ass forgot to load the funnel on and screw it tightly until it clicked to signify, you know, being locked.
7. Fix film. Hopefully not underfixing it. Worry about the light exposure. Nurse your sore thumb in between agitating the developer container every thirty seconds.
8. Go to the wash. Start water for wash not realizing the hose isn't connected. Soak your shirt.
9. Smoke cigarette and bitch to yourself -- or your roommate via text messaging -- while film washes.
10. Put film in photo flo. Watch as the negatives go apeshit in the container since they are not completely on the reel.
11. Unload film from reels and hang to dry, noticing the many pictures you remember taking that are not there, including the one of the burnt down row house you really couldn't wait to see in black and white ....
ARRRRRRRRRR!
K. I'm calming down. Geology test in three hours. I can do this. Then crappy opinion writing class ... then off to art building to pick up dry negatives and get back to the car just in time for rush hour ...
I fucking hate Mondays.
1. When loading the reels, Fuck up a lot. You can do this by not being able to tell which way the grooves move in a circle. It's pitch black, so it's not hard. Especially if you can't feel anything with your fingertips through your guitar callouses.
2. Load your film on the reel the wrong way. Have to unroll and start over 2,000 times.
3. Cut the fuck out of your thumb either with scissors while breaking open the film in the dark, or oddly somehow cut it with the actual negative like a paper cut times one million.
4. Feel your bloody thumb hurt as you still struggle with your negatives, in the dark.
5. Practically give up. Start over again. Then manhandle your negatives. "That's right, bitch!"
6. Go to process. When you dump the developer out, expose your film to the light because your fuckwit ass forgot to load the funnel on and screw it tightly until it clicked to signify, you know, being locked.
7. Fix film. Hopefully not underfixing it. Worry about the light exposure. Nurse your sore thumb in between agitating the developer container every thirty seconds.
8. Go to the wash. Start water for wash not realizing the hose isn't connected. Soak your shirt.
9. Smoke cigarette and bitch to yourself -- or your roommate via text messaging -- while film washes.
10. Put film in photo flo. Watch as the negatives go apeshit in the container since they are not completely on the reel.
11. Unload film from reels and hang to dry, noticing the many pictures you remember taking that are not there, including the one of the burnt down row house you really couldn't wait to see in black and white ....
ARRRRRRRRRR!
K. I'm calming down. Geology test in three hours. I can do this. Then crappy opinion writing class ... then off to art building to pick up dry negatives and get back to the car just in time for rush hour ...
I fucking hate Mondays.
Labels: Photography
1 Comments:
I'm totally there. The process of developing can be a real pain at times and I used to get all sorts of crud all over my negatives. It totally sucked after you spent all that time developing to find that you only created junk.
By 
, at
8:57 PM
