Thursday, July 13, 2006
The Uglier Side of Things
The Ugly Side of the Coin. I was thinking about starting another blog and calling it that. Because sometimes I think things and think I should keep them too myself. What if my friends read this and realize how horrible I am? What if old friends who don't give a crap just glance at it once in awhile to confirm what they think they know -- that I'm a horrible human being -- and walk away again thinking themselves smarter or better.
Or that they've escaped something ...
You know what? Everyone has things to escape. Everyone.
One way I could do that would be to start another one of these and throw away the key, but if I was going to do that, I could just write at home.
You know what?
People post these ridiculous bulletins on MySpace. Survey, questionaires, whatever. And I waste many precious minutes of my life as a monkey office drone sufficating under fluorescent lights ... just to fill them out and pass the time ...
One of the things that bothers me about them is that they all ask the same questions.
Now everyone knows the things I tell the truth about, and everyone thinks I tell the truth about the things I lie about. Or maybe it's percentages. And maybe I get the same from them ...
Either way we all know I sleep in the nude, and my favorite color changes every other day, and sometimes, almost most of the time, someone is missing somebody ... and we all know who is single and "taken," whatever that means.
But do we know anything? Do we know anything at all?
What I do know is that just about everyone lies, if not to others, than to themselves. Otherwise whenever the stupid question asks about regrets, people wouldn't say they have none.
And they always do. I have too. All that kindergarten force fed inhumane brainwashed wannabe optimistic dribble that comes out ... People always say things like, "None." Or, "Life's about experience and everything is relevant if you at least learn from it." Or they say something about how everything that what supposed to happen does.
That takes away responsibility for a person's actions. It takes away free will. It takes away from one of life's most common experiences that so many are in denial about.
Tell me you don't have regrets.
You know what? I do. I'm a human being, been on this fricken' earth close to 30 years. Some things that happened weren't my fault. Some things were.
I regret not taking my multivitamin this morning. I regret not flossing more often. See, little things ...
Then there are bigger ones.
I started trying a couple years ago to really say what I meant and to mean it when I said it.
I'm going to try again.
And I'm going to start again by trying to be honest on this blog, even about the ugly things deep within my being. The very things that make me human.
I'm going to do that. I make no promises. I will protect no one. Wait and see.
The Ugly Side of the Coin. I was thinking about starting another blog and calling it that. Because sometimes I think things and think I should keep them too myself. What if my friends read this and realize how horrible I am? What if old friends who don't give a crap just glance at it once in awhile to confirm what they think they know -- that I'm a horrible human being -- and walk away again thinking themselves smarter or better.
Or that they've escaped something ...
You know what? Everyone has things to escape. Everyone.
One way I could do that would be to start another one of these and throw away the key, but if I was going to do that, I could just write at home.
You know what?
People post these ridiculous bulletins on MySpace. Survey, questionaires, whatever. And I waste many precious minutes of my life as a monkey office drone sufficating under fluorescent lights ... just to fill them out and pass the time ...
One of the things that bothers me about them is that they all ask the same questions.
Now everyone knows the things I tell the truth about, and everyone thinks I tell the truth about the things I lie about. Or maybe it's percentages. And maybe I get the same from them ...
Either way we all know I sleep in the nude, and my favorite color changes every other day, and sometimes, almost most of the time, someone is missing somebody ... and we all know who is single and "taken," whatever that means.
But do we know anything? Do we know anything at all?
What I do know is that just about everyone lies, if not to others, than to themselves. Otherwise whenever the stupid question asks about regrets, people wouldn't say they have none.
And they always do. I have too. All that kindergarten force fed inhumane brainwashed wannabe optimistic dribble that comes out ... People always say things like, "None." Or, "Life's about experience and everything is relevant if you at least learn from it." Or they say something about how everything that what supposed to happen does.
That takes away responsibility for a person's actions. It takes away free will. It takes away from one of life's most common experiences that so many are in denial about.
Tell me you don't have regrets.
You know what? I do. I'm a human being, been on this fricken' earth close to 30 years. Some things that happened weren't my fault. Some things were.
I regret not taking my multivitamin this morning. I regret not flossing more often. See, little things ...
Then there are bigger ones.
I started trying a couple years ago to really say what I meant and to mean it when I said it.
I'm going to try again.
And I'm going to start again by trying to be honest on this blog, even about the ugly things deep within my being. The very things that make me human.
I'm going to do that. I make no promises. I will protect no one. Wait and see.
Labels: Depression, MySpace
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