Rock Star Hour

Hi. Again.

So ... Nikki has managed to betray my trust in less than 48 hours of staying at my place. No kidding. But there is no mistake on my part. At least I gave her a chance. I would have felt like a bad friend if I hadn't tried to help her out. But what do you do for people when all you want to do is help them and all they want to do is turn around and fuck you? Fuck them. That's what you do. Fuckin' A. Nuff said.

Well, I've been busting my ass. Last week was really good. And busy. But fuckin' awesome. I was training so I worked every day at Chuy's -- where I am hosting now -- and then I closed at Slicks five nights outta the week.

This week'll be a change of pace. I'm so excited about class tomorrow. I looove school. Ah, I'm such a big dork. Ah.

Sorry if this is generic or more diary-ish than blog-ish, but for the few of you who read this sometimes it's the only way we can keep up.

I will be 25 in a couple weeks. Whoa. I'm trying to decide what to do. My original plan was to have big bar party, like I did for my 23rd. But that was back when I only got "birthday drunk" -- which is the drunkest I would get all year -- on my actual birthday. And since I've spent the last month or more that way I'd rather not.

The only question is what does one do on their birthday other than get shittily and retardly wasted with ones friends? I'd say that's all I've done for the last five years at least.

Back in high school my friends and I used to go celebrate in large groups at places like Planet Hollywood and Hardrock Cafe and shit. We thought it was just about the coolest thing ever. But meh. Maybe I'll go bowling, hah! Thing is I kinda suck at bowling, and it seems like on your birthday you should want to do something that you don't completely suck at. At least with pool, I always cheated on my birthday. No one would say anything about my putting balls in the pockets with my hands because it was my birthday. My day, man.

Dude, you know what I've been wanting to do for some reason though? Mini golf. Haven't done that in years. I've also always wanted to go to the driving range and do that thing where you just pay like $20 for a bucket of balls and hit 'em as hard as you can. Not exactly a birthday idea though.

That actually sounds like it would be cool right now, because I'm really kinda stressed and unbelievably pissed off about the aforementioned bull shit with my "so-called" best friend.

So, there's this line on this one song on the Ben Folds album that I love so much. It says, seems to me if you can't trust, you can't be trusted.

It really hit home with me, because since Aaron and I broke up, I haven't really been able to trust anyone. And I don't want to be that way.

I know that some people really suck. Some human beings are just outright awful, and others are golden. And I will never stop hoping and believing in the golden ones. That they exist.

I know some really quality people. Man, I do. And sometimes you've gotta filter them in and out, because some folks will inevitably disappoint you. And maybe my bull shit meter isn't all in order, but I'm working on it. In the mean time I believe in people until they give me a reason not to.

Or at least I used to be that way, and I'm trying to get there again. Because I don't want to be ugly. Or cynical. Or drunk. I just want to be me.

Labels: birthdays, Friendship, Work