Rock Star Hour

Today

Today for breakfast I had a banana nut muffin and a diet coke. For lunch I had Nilla Wafers and Spicy Cheezits. For a late-night snack I had the same. I did not eat dinner. Who says you can't be healthy and vegetarian?

I watched American Idol. All five of my favorite people from the beginning made it into the top 10: Scott, Bo, Constantine, Nadia and the girl whose name starts with a V, I think, but I never remember it even though she's dope. I also like Carrie and she's still in too. Yay.

I think I walked at least six miles. I walked far to the bus stop. And then I walked around school. Then after school I came to Montrose and had a long walk. I got an iced tea and went to the park by the Menil. I studied. I listened to my favorite songs. And I did that thing I used to love where I pick a tree and lie under it in a spot with the greatest mix of sun and shade and laid down and stared up at the leaves blowing in the wind in the sunlight.

I went to the Menil. I spent time looking at some of my favorite paintings. Some of them I forgot. I missed Shaun because I remembered the time we went there and laughed at the Georgio De Chirico "Metaphysical Interior with Biscuits." Some of the things were still my favorite. Still love Hector and Andramache. Still love Max Ernst. Still love Mondrian. Noticed something about Ernst's sculptures today. They at first appear kind of silly, but the shadows of the pieces are perfect. It was almost as if he created them that way just so they could cast those shadows. The shadows on the walls expressed the names of the work even more. I don't know if I could explain it better than that. If I could show you, I would.

I updated my MySpace page. I added the Usher video for "Burn." I love that song. And the video. I think only Usher could dance around that car in that way and look sexy rather than like a fool.

I really enjoyed my Italian class. I'm becoming much more confident. I'm looking forward to the mid-term next week so I can be less stressed out. Smooth sailing after that. But it's Tuesday, so I don't have to wait that long. And I feel almost ready. And will be.

Today has been so weird. It started out amazing. The weather was beautiful. And my class ended early, and I got some exercise. Hanging out at the park couldn't have been better. Except I wish I had some company. Or at least my guitar. All I brought with me was what I took to school.

Then tonight I just got into this horrible mood. It just took me. Well, that's not exactly right. But anyway, I was overtaken by this feeling of just being inadequate.

I am so tired of being confused. I wrote one time that confusion was romantic. Well, either it isn't or I'm not. Not a romantic anymore, I mean. Cause damnit if I just don't want to know something. And today, I don't feel like I know anything. Except the fact that I don't. Like in Plato's Apology or something, except I don't feel wise at all.

Not at all. I feel so young, and it's not like I'm in a hurry to grow up but I just am sometimes.

I watched this episode of The Simpsons tonight, and all Lisa's friends wanted to have a dance at school and dress up and have dates and stuff. Lisa didn't. She said something about only have nine or ten years in life to play with toys and eat with her mouth open, and she wanted to enjoy it.