Monday, February 28, 2005
Jeff just wrote to me on MySpace. He just joined, and found me, and wants to be friends. I feel like I'm going to throw up.
What'd he have to go and do that for?
Why are boys like that?
He put it on me. He said he doesn't want me to hate him, and that I was nothing but nice to him, and that it just took him this long to sort things out for himself. So now, if I want, he's ready to be cool.
Uh, yeah ... this would have been a lot easier if I wasn't already used to the idea that he hated me. After all, it was he who didn't say hello back, who did not even acknowledge that I existed, or that he knew me at all, much less lived with me, even though we were surrounded by mutual friends in a ridiculously uncomfortable situation at The Good Life show in like, October.
And now I feel like if I don't say anything back I'm the immature one. Even though I've sort of wanted something like this to happen in case we do end up at camp. I know I'm going, but rumor has it he is not sure yet.
Still, the situation would be a little easier, considering we have to live in the same building and work 15 hours a day together, if we could come to at least civil terms on our own before the summer.
I ... really am going to go throw up now. Probably not. But I can't write back yet. I can't.
Cigarette time. Gross, but oh well.
2 Comments:
Whew! you've been a busy little poster while I wasn't looking!
This one I can comment on though, having been in a similar situation off and on myself over the last two years.
Being civil is one thing, being cordial is another. Why is he being like this? Simple. He made some mistakes and is trying to get away from the consequences (missing you). Most people in this position never actually make it up to the one they hurt, just to themselves.
Moving on means moving on ... while it certainly isn't my place to tell you how to live or how to handle this, be careful hun.
Dave
By 
, at
4:58 AM
Thanks, Dave. I will see you this weekend.
p.s. If you get a chance to go to Odessa, you need to go to Ye Old Bookworm. It might be one of the coolest used bookstores ever.
