Rock Star Hour

Light a candle for my soul

I feel horrible. There's this part on You've Got Mail where Kathleen Kelly says some really horrible things to Joe Fox. Remember? She says to him that if she were to look for a brain she would only find a cash register, and for a heart, a bottom line.

And then she felt horrible. At first, she was so proud of herself, for being able to say the thing she wanted the moment she wanted to say it.

But her pen pal, even, who happened to be Joe Fox, although she didn't know yet, told her that, as a person who has no problem doing so, he could only say from experience that remorse immediately follows.

And it did. It really did.

I feel like Kathleen Kelly right now.

I said some really horrible things to someone who made me feel horrible, but the horrible feeling didn't go away. Maybe I thought that would happen. You know, like a sponge soaking up water only to squeeze it out, into a bucket or something.

That may be a not so good metaphor. I wish I had better words. I wish a lot of things.

I'm so sorry.