Sunday, August 08, 2004
She said her life was saved by rock 'n' roll
Sometimes all you can do is smile. And right now I'd rather do that than write even. But I just want to let you know that's what I am doing right now.
The most interesting aspect of this smile is what lies behind it: hope for my future.
What is that, you say? A happy, optimistic, forward-looking 23-year-old? Better than that, an unafraid Cara?
Yes.
I came to Seattle lonely, depressed, scared, broke ... shall I go on? I bought myself a ticket to save my life. And it fuckin' worked.
I am cured. Better than cured. I have learned how to dream again. Like the kind of dreams I had in high school math.
And I'm eating up happy thoughts with a spoon.
Remember earlier this summer when I was talking about wanting love in my life in as many ways as possible?
Check this out:
I am moving to a city I love -- Austin
... to study something I am passionate about -- music business
... and I'm going to hang out with people I love -- like my friend Eric whom I have known since I was 12 and others who are awesome, not to mention the raddest people who are going to be my friends as soon as I meet them.
Woohoo!
And there are a million other things. A million. But I think I'm going to tell you about them when I do them rather than making declarative statements about what all my plans are, and there are many. The coolest part is that I don't actually have a plan at all but for the first, honestly the first, time in my life I like me and I like where I'm going and I know whatever it is that I really want to do I will do it.
I'm coming home Friday -- to Texas that is. And I'm looking forward to it more than my birthday at the moment, and just for comparison's sake you should know that I make a big fuckin' deal out of my birthday every year, like parties with many, many people kinda deal. Uh-huh. I look forward to it a lot.
Oh, yeah, and I'm flying out of Portland and when I get home I'm adding some more tacks to my maps when I unpack.
... and that sorta rhymes. Ish.
That is all. G'night.
Sometimes all you can do is smile. And right now I'd rather do that than write even. But I just want to let you know that's what I am doing right now.
The most interesting aspect of this smile is what lies behind it: hope for my future.
What is that, you say? A happy, optimistic, forward-looking 23-year-old? Better than that, an unafraid Cara?
Yes.
I came to Seattle lonely, depressed, scared, broke ... shall I go on? I bought myself a ticket to save my life. And it fuckin' worked.
I am cured. Better than cured. I have learned how to dream again. Like the kind of dreams I had in high school math.
And I'm eating up happy thoughts with a spoon.
Remember earlier this summer when I was talking about wanting love in my life in as many ways as possible?
Check this out:
I am moving to a city I love -- Austin
... to study something I am passionate about -- music business
... and I'm going to hang out with people I love -- like my friend Eric whom I have known since I was 12 and others who are awesome, not to mention the raddest people who are going to be my friends as soon as I meet them.
Woohoo!
And there are a million other things. A million. But I think I'm going to tell you about them when I do them rather than making declarative statements about what all my plans are, and there are many. The coolest part is that I don't actually have a plan at all but for the first, honestly the first, time in my life I like me and I like where I'm going and I know whatever it is that I really want to do I will do it.
I'm coming home Friday -- to Texas that is. And I'm looking forward to it more than my birthday at the moment, and just for comparison's sake you should know that I make a big fuckin' deal out of my birthday every year, like parties with many, many people kinda deal. Uh-huh. I look forward to it a lot.
Oh, yeah, and I'm flying out of Portland and when I get home I'm adding some more tacks to my maps when I unpack.
... and that sorta rhymes. Ish.
That is all. G'night.
0 Comments:
