Monday, August 09, 2004
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
~Eleanor Roosevelt
I am inspired tonight. Ellen's post about her adventures and their dreamy counterparts really hit home with me. I've been thinking about that lately. I've been thinking about growing up. The acceptance of the contradiction between the who you are and who you wanted to be, along with where and what you would be doing, is the greatest adventure for me now.
With so many friends getting married and having children I have had no choice but to think about it. Robert Fulghum wrote that when you reunite with others you have the biggest reunion with yourself. He said people go to high school reunions to see who they were. I think it's a really romantic idea in a way.
I've been thinking about all this and a million other things. Last summer I wrote about going to bridal showers. This summer I went to a baby shower before camp, and as soon as I get home I am leaving in a day to go to another wedding out of town ...
I used to be bitter about the differences. The contrasts between where I wanted to go to college and where I ended up; the contrasts in high school between my friends' family lives and my own; the contrast between what I couldn't do that they could.
I only recently started to ask myself exactly what about all this was pissing me off. Honestly, I thought about it thick and thin, and I don't want what they have. Not now. I am happy with the things I have done. I could plot all the actions I have taken on the map that led me here, and I could speculate as to what other routes would have brought me to the same place, and I have, but I think I'd rather enjoy where I am and play my guitar.
Everyone gets their own life to create. There are always so many choices. I'm making mine, and they're making theirs, whether they have to do with career, family or politics.
It took so much for me to get here while it took so little. I bought a ticket. I boarded a plane. But to get to a destination everyone must come from somewhere. And when you are afraid, you just have to have faith.
I have a lot of faith in Cara. When she goes to Austin she's going to tear that city up with her fierce dreams.
~Eleanor Roosevelt
I am inspired tonight. Ellen's post about her adventures and their dreamy counterparts really hit home with me. I've been thinking about that lately. I've been thinking about growing up. The acceptance of the contradiction between the who you are and who you wanted to be, along with where and what you would be doing, is the greatest adventure for me now.
With so many friends getting married and having children I have had no choice but to think about it. Robert Fulghum wrote that when you reunite with others you have the biggest reunion with yourself. He said people go to high school reunions to see who they were. I think it's a really romantic idea in a way.
I've been thinking about all this and a million other things. Last summer I wrote about going to bridal showers. This summer I went to a baby shower before camp, and as soon as I get home I am leaving in a day to go to another wedding out of town ...
I used to be bitter about the differences. The contrasts between where I wanted to go to college and where I ended up; the contrasts in high school between my friends' family lives and my own; the contrast between what I couldn't do that they could.
I only recently started to ask myself exactly what about all this was pissing me off. Honestly, I thought about it thick and thin, and I don't want what they have. Not now. I am happy with the things I have done. I could plot all the actions I have taken on the map that led me here, and I could speculate as to what other routes would have brought me to the same place, and I have, but I think I'd rather enjoy where I am and play my guitar.
Everyone gets their own life to create. There are always so many choices. I'm making mine, and they're making theirs, whether they have to do with career, family or politics.
It took so much for me to get here while it took so little. I bought a ticket. I boarded a plane. But to get to a destination everyone must come from somewhere. And when you are afraid, you just have to have faith.
I have a lot of faith in Cara. When she goes to Austin she's going to tear that city up with her fierce dreams.
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