Friday, June 11, 2004
Any lyric, any sound, any song will do
My friend Dave told me recently something about how making too many declarative statements is a good way to make an ass out of yourself. And I feel like an Ass Queen. But I like declarative statements. I love it, even though I must sound like such a dreamer. I like the sound of determination. I like the idea of clarity. Only, clarity in all honesty doesn't sound very romantic. Romance has excitement and danger, and an element of adventure to it, don't you think?
Yesterday my friend Dawn called me up. She said she was thinking, "I wonder what she's doing now?" I began to take it negatively, the reflection of my actions bouncing off me through the ones who are the closest to catch them in the air. The air that comes out of my mouth faster than anything else these days. She meant it as a compliment, though. Funny how sometimes the things you do affect those you wouldn't expect at all. She said I helped her consciousness. I hate to use the term sociological imagination, but it comes to mind. That whole thing about making decisions again, and I opened up a Pandora's box of possibilities for her just by being her friend and living life, not even noticing my tracks. It's a nice feeling ... a hopeful one.
Instead of dissecting the whos and when and whys and whats right now I'm embarking on another plan. A plan for something good. Because I know there's a can of optimism inside me somewhere. There's a light, and it'll be a bright one soon. That whole thing about knowing what is good and pursuing that. I've been involved in some ugliness. Heartbreak is no excuse, or at least I shouldn't think, and I've been bending on it for way too long, though not outwardly admitting it.
I'm taking a new chance. And I'm asking for a new one at the same time. "All Apologies" keeps coming into my head and running on a loop inside like a tape in my car flipping over when it's done and starting again. But I sure have been making a lot of them lately, apologies I mean.
The goodness of the people I chose to be my friends and abandoned some in my darkest hour is coming back to sweetly remind me how great human beings can be ...
My friend Dave told me recently something about how making too many declarative statements is a good way to make an ass out of yourself. And I feel like an Ass Queen. But I like declarative statements. I love it, even though I must sound like such a dreamer. I like the sound of determination. I like the idea of clarity. Only, clarity in all honesty doesn't sound very romantic. Romance has excitement and danger, and an element of adventure to it, don't you think?
Yesterday my friend Dawn called me up. She said she was thinking, "I wonder what she's doing now?" I began to take it negatively, the reflection of my actions bouncing off me through the ones who are the closest to catch them in the air. The air that comes out of my mouth faster than anything else these days. She meant it as a compliment, though. Funny how sometimes the things you do affect those you wouldn't expect at all. She said I helped her consciousness. I hate to use the term sociological imagination, but it comes to mind. That whole thing about making decisions again, and I opened up a Pandora's box of possibilities for her just by being her friend and living life, not even noticing my tracks. It's a nice feeling ... a hopeful one.
Instead of dissecting the whos and when and whys and whats right now I'm embarking on another plan. A plan for something good. Because I know there's a can of optimism inside me somewhere. There's a light, and it'll be a bright one soon. That whole thing about knowing what is good and pursuing that. I've been involved in some ugliness. Heartbreak is no excuse, or at least I shouldn't think, and I've been bending on it for way too long, though not outwardly admitting it.
I'm taking a new chance. And I'm asking for a new one at the same time. "All Apologies" keeps coming into my head and running on a loop inside like a tape in my car flipping over when it's done and starting again. But I sure have been making a lot of them lately, apologies I mean.
The goodness of the people I chose to be my friends and abandoned some in my darkest hour is coming back to sweetly remind me how great human beings can be ...
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