Tuesday, May 18, 2004
You want something done, you've got to do it yourself
Hey, everybody, I'm going to Seattle! I just booked my flight. It's for damn sure now.
I've been really taking a lot of time to think about what I want to do. And it's really paying off. I am so excited about all this.
Sometimes I feel like I'm high as a kite, but others, I feel this pain in my chest like I'm lying on the ground and someone's got their foot on me and their body weight's just crushing me, making it hard to breathe.
It's cooler than it sounds, though. It's not what I have decided that makes me feel this way, but the aftermath of making the decision. I'm doing something that is going to change my life. I've done it before, in smaller steps. Like the first time I went to camp. I was 20 years old. I couldn't afford my apartment. I had just started working two summer jobs and was looking for a third. Then, a very good friend of mine left to go work for his second summer at camp. I had been listening to him talk positively about it all year long, and when he left, I told him to call me if they still had any openings when he got there.
And that is how it all happened. With one phone call I was hired, and then I had to move, quit two jobs, get a physical and a ride to the camp three hours away, prepare however I could -- all in one week. I got there having missed training week because I was brought in last-minute, and two days later the first group of campers came ...
I did that because I knew something needed to change in my life. I didn't even like kids, but I didn't like the fact that I didn't like kids, and I wanted that to change, and camp did that for me.
Camp did many things for me. Some things I still haven't fully realized. And it set off a chain of positive energy in my life, and then extended on to the lives of others. I know it did because the next summer half the staff were my friends. And even though I'm moving on this summer, some of them are going back for their second and third summers, and they're bringing their friends, and I know that means it did something for them, and that they brought something special to the lives of everyone else there too.
If this sounds cliche, oh well, because I don't know how else to say it except that I feel it in my heart and my bones. I feel as though now, I've started another chain. And I don't know how long it is or where it's leading, but I know it's good because inside I know I'm good.
And I know that if I have nothing else, I have the knowledge of self love, my experiences and the hope to continue on because I have something to contribute to all this chaotic yet steady and periodically peaceful, ordinary and in between extraordinary, unexplainable thing called life.
Hey, everybody, I'm going to Seattle! I just booked my flight. It's for damn sure now.
I've been really taking a lot of time to think about what I want to do. And it's really paying off. I am so excited about all this.
Sometimes I feel like I'm high as a kite, but others, I feel this pain in my chest like I'm lying on the ground and someone's got their foot on me and their body weight's just crushing me, making it hard to breathe.
It's cooler than it sounds, though. It's not what I have decided that makes me feel this way, but the aftermath of making the decision. I'm doing something that is going to change my life. I've done it before, in smaller steps. Like the first time I went to camp. I was 20 years old. I couldn't afford my apartment. I had just started working two summer jobs and was looking for a third. Then, a very good friend of mine left to go work for his second summer at camp. I had been listening to him talk positively about it all year long, and when he left, I told him to call me if they still had any openings when he got there.
And that is how it all happened. With one phone call I was hired, and then I had to move, quit two jobs, get a physical and a ride to the camp three hours away, prepare however I could -- all in one week. I got there having missed training week because I was brought in last-minute, and two days later the first group of campers came ...
I did that because I knew something needed to change in my life. I didn't even like kids, but I didn't like the fact that I didn't like kids, and I wanted that to change, and camp did that for me.
Camp did many things for me. Some things I still haven't fully realized. And it set off a chain of positive energy in my life, and then extended on to the lives of others. I know it did because the next summer half the staff were my friends. And even though I'm moving on this summer, some of them are going back for their second and third summers, and they're bringing their friends, and I know that means it did something for them, and that they brought something special to the lives of everyone else there too.
If this sounds cliche, oh well, because I don't know how else to say it except that I feel it in my heart and my bones. I feel as though now, I've started another chain. And I don't know how long it is or where it's leading, but I know it's good because inside I know I'm good.
And I know that if I have nothing else, I have the knowledge of self love, my experiences and the hope to continue on because I have something to contribute to all this chaotic yet steady and periodically peaceful, ordinary and in between extraordinary, unexplainable thing called life.
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